Tuesday, January 29, 2008

It's happiness all around

January 19' 08 was a day full of cheer and happiness. (Pardon me that I am backdating this almost half a month back.) One of my bestest friend got hitched! She was known as Miss Marilyn Chan but now better known as Mrs Marilyn Peck. Wahahaha!!! .............

Meg was just as excited about Marilyn's ROM as we all are
The solemnization ceremony was held in Tapas Wine Bistro in Holland Village. (Great hang out place - thumbs up!)
Marilyn looks most divine
Exchange of wedding bands and vows
Mar looks absolutely terrified!
Poor Ken had to entertain Meg while we were busy cam whoring :p
Cheers to Marilyn & Edmund's everlasting happiness
1 down, 3 to go. Wahahaha .........
Lovey dovey
We want a share of the beautiful bride too!
We were scrutinizing the wedding ring to see if it's of substantial enough value to do justice to Mar. Cos if not, by the power of the jie mei (sisters), we're going to impose a hefty fine on Edmund on their wedding day. *evil laugh*
Meg thinks that Mar is so pretty
My cousin, Jamie, is Mar's official photographer. Hmmm ...... now looking at the photos, we do look kinda alike. *cringe* (Although I know she would rather kill herself than to ever admit a semblance of likeness between us :p)
Pics courtesy of Jamie
That must have been a very auspicious day cos we attended another wedding dinner at night
Henry & Rachel's wedding in Prima Tower Revolving Restaurant
And to top it all off, we celebrated Ken's dad's birthday the next day. Triple happiness!!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The loafing oaf

You know what I love doing most? Doing nothing.

You would never in a million years guess that me, Esther Low, is the slackest slob you would ever meet. What wouldn't I give to do nothing but laze around the house. If I can get away with it, I wouldn't even wash up and spend the entire day in my comfy jammies. I would get up really late, lie on the sofa and watch TV; read the papers; read a book; snooze a little (or maybe a lot); dabble with Facebook (Wandal says I'm a FB addict :p); blog perhaps; and dang, I might even throw in a shower if the mood is right :p

I have decided that I am going to start indulging myself. I wouldn't want to get out of the house if I can help it. I am going to do what I love. Damn, I am even seriously contemplating taking leave for the next few days to indulge in doing ................ nothing.

Monday, January 14, 2008

It's so heavy

I remember waking up not too many days ago feeling exactly what I was feeling this morning. I had wanted to blog about it then but let it slide thinking it's something that will pass. So apparently not.

I woke up and it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I couldn't stop the tears washing my cheeks as I was bathing. What a way to start the morning. And does anyone know how hard it is to apply eye make-up when your eyes are all wet? As if I am not late enough, the efforts put into the make-up was all ruined from me crying while driving to work.

Burnt out? Depression? I don't know. There isn't even a trigger but I feel so darn sorry for myself. In fact I think I cry at almost anything now.

It's the beginning of a new year where rightfully hopes were renewed and dreams reignited. Why do I seem to be regressing instead? Each new step seem to take me back to where I had initially started. Trapped in this mammoth maze which threatens to swallow me whole. No matter how, I can never seem to walk out from it. Walking seems like running underwater and everything takes a huge effort out of me. I don't want to go out, I don't want to meet people, I just want to stay at home and do nothing.

Don't worry, I am not about to go out and end my life in the next minute or something like that. Nothing so drastic. I know Megan is my responsibility. And mine alone. For if I am gone, there will be no one to ask her about her day in school, teach her her homework or test her on spelling. I mean that's the really sad part about it. It's that I am not even sure if she'll be truly well cared for if I was not around. And that means I don't even have the most basic option of running away from everything if I had wanted to.

I understand when some of my friends told me they don't see a purpose in life. And if it wasn't for Megan, I would have felt exactly the same way too.

I ask Megan everyday without fail, how was her day in school because I knew how important it was. Then looking at her, I wished that I was in her position. I wish there was someone asking me about my day at work. And now that I have fallen sick again before even recovering from the previous one, I wish that there was someone asking if I am feeling better or if I have taken medication. I wish that there was someone to give me a back rub or pour me a hot drink when I have aches. I wish, I wish, I wish ..........

Suddenly it brought me back to one of my earlier post:

Thursday, August 11, 2005
The innate child in me

Do you think that everyone has an innate child in them? I know I do.

That's cos where it used to lie dormant, the repressed child is screaming & kicking to be let out.

I don't want to be an adult. I don't want to be responsible. I don't want to make decisions. I don't want to have to worry & think about consequences. I don't want to have to please people.

I want to sulk & stamp my feet. I want to cry as & when I want to. I want to be spoiled & demanding. I want instant gratification. I want to be cajoled & coaxed. I want to be pampered. I want to be baby-talked to. I want to know there's someone to shield me from world's harm & shoulder the sky when it falls.

I want.... I want.... I want.....

I'm starting to act like I'm 3 instead of 30.

See what I've told you. That was in 2005. And now in 2008. I am back exactly where I had started.

And so if it is meant to be. I will go on trudging, carrying this heavy weight on my 2 shoulders.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Record breaking

I have pumped a record high of $100 worth of petrol on my 1.4 litres car! *incredulous* What's this world coming to? ..................

Friday, January 11, 2008

A lost war

We are having a long tough war on utopia.

"Utopia is a massive multiplayer internet-based strategy game. According to the official site, the World of Legends server alone has nearly 40,000 active accounts. Gameplay is divided into periods called "Ages," with each Age lasting between three to four months. At the end of an Age, all accounts are reset to their initial states to give players a fresh start, any new balance and gameplay changes are put into effect, and the competition begins again. On October 3rd 2007, the game entered its 37th age, which is called the Age of Darkness ......................................

Like in many browser-based strategy games, Utopia has a real-time gaming environment. A player's province continues to grow, produce resources, and recruit soldiers even when he or she is not logged on. This also means that a province may be attacked even while its player is not logged in. For this reason, many kingdoms encourage their players to log in frequently to better respond to conditions in-game ......................................"

Read more on Wikipedia

My close friends will know how passionate I am about the game. Passionate to the point of pure addiction. It is extremely unlike me to be passionate about a game of any sort but somehow I got addicted when Ken introduced me to this game about 3 years ago. Haha ...... yeah, been 3 years and I am still crazy about the game. But if I am bad then I guess Ken's worse, he's been at it for more than 12 years.

What a lot of people didn't understand was, why did we like an online war game that has no graphics and is entirely text-based. I guess that's probably what I liked about it. I have always been a 'words' kind of person :p

And it being a real-time gaming environment, this game dictated my life for the past 3 years. For example, if it's war like now, I would set the alarm at 3am just to wake up and make an attack. Or in the middle of an outing, I will tell Ken that I need to go home just so to make a hit. And when we lose a war, it depresses me no end. Horrid, right? I sounded like a no life uber geek whose life revolves around her cyber life and friends.

And like I mentioned above, a long tough war is ongoing right now. Most of my waking hours were spent in front of the pc since I am the one giving directions for the war. After 5 agonizing days, I am seriously sleep deprived and mentally drained from analysing the war. But all that is ending today because we are surrendering. Arghhhh! How I hate losing! My mood is currently at its lowest and it doesn't help that I am PMSing.

Ken gets pretty mad at me sometimes for letting the game get to me. But I think it's just me. I have got a narcissistic streak in me. (Evident in my blog's address :p) I just don't take losing very well. Regardless in cyber or real life. I am what Ken would call 'die standing'. And I readily admit it too but at least it takes me where I want to go.

Anyway war lost so I am going to spend the next few days moping and recovering lost sleep.

Later ...........

This came in an immunisation booklet from school. I am very impressed that they paid attention to details like that. Especially more so since Meg is left handed.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Still sick .........

Bah ....... still not feeling well. I should have rested more during the weekends but guess it's a little too late for regrets now.

Besides it was arranged sometime back to go go-karting in Malaysia on Saturday with the FJC bunch and I didn't want to be a spoilsport although Ken had gallantly offered to bring Meg there on his own.

And when Saturday came, I wasn't the spoilsport but the weather was. It was raining cats and dogs! We sat in the foodcourt of Jusco for hours waiting for the rain to stop. But it poured and it poured. We were already losing hope when suddenly the sky cleared. Thank God it wasn't a wasted trip.

And on Sunday, we attended Trista's wedding. I think it was the rain coupled with tiredness, I felt increasingly worse on Sunday. I had thought of backing out from the wedding dinner but I don't think Trista would ever forgive me (I wouldn't forgive myself either) and so at the last minute, I went anyway.

Had initially wanted Meg to try the go-karts as well but it's dangerous with the tracks so slippery Everyone's really excited that finally they get to go on the tracks
Ken is a happy man
So is Jason
Overcast sky making everything look drab & grey. The tracks were ultra wet & slippery as well. Many did doughnuts (spin round & round) without even stepping on the brakes.
Eh ......... not even 1 round yet. So who's that walking back instead of driving back??
And he looms into view! Accident!
So round & round they went
End of round1. All driving into the pit.
Ken said his legs were getting cramps
Getting ready for the 2nd round. I climbed onto a watchtower to get a bird's eye view.
I kinda got bored waiting & started snapping this wilted tree
A very well-behaved Meg. Actually she's behaves really well whenever we bring her out & everyone loves to have her around. You can't imagine how proud I am :DDD
There's Ju & Kelvin below waiting to snap pics of our F1 racers
It's really small but if you look carefully, you'll see that this person is in the opposite direction of the arrow
It's garang Wapiang (Denise)! She spinned & the worker came to help her.
Again not very clear but 3 cars here are facing totally different directions - more like facing each other. Most does doughnuts whenever they came to this bend.
A very satisfied but wet bunch
Trista & Raymond's wedding.
Trista is a very sweet girl & I feel really happy for her that she's found her happily ever after
Yum Seng with a twist. The groom will carry the bride for as long as we can drag the yum seng shouts.
I was a big nuisance & troubled Trista no end, to sit me in the Malay table with my beloved eye clinic 'girls'. We haven't had a gathering in a long while & I miss them so much!
Ken was bored stiff throughout the dinner
Didn't take a lot of photos & worse still most of our photos turned out blurred. Arghhh :(
Trying to make the best out of an over-exposed photo with photoshop
The most wonderful bunch of colleagues I'd ever worked with
I love you girls!

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