Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The love language

Kenneth, my colleague, told me about a book he had read called 'The Love Language'. I thought that it sounds really wise and decided to share it with all of you.

He told me that everyone speaks a different language of love and that in order to make your partner feel loved. You actually have to find out what is your partner's love language and speak that language to him/her. You can love your partner to death but without the right language, you can try explaining yourself blue in the face and your partner still won't feel that love from you.

The languages are broadly classified into: Gifts, Time, Words, Touch & Acts of Service. The ones who speaks the language of Gifts, will feel most loved when you are presented with gifts. Whereas for the ones who speaks the language of Time, will feel most loved when their partner spend a lot of time with them. I am sure you get the drift by now what each one represents. Words meaning through lots of compliments and 'I love yous' (genuine ones of course). Touch...... Well simply through touch. And lastly Acts of Service, meaning doing things for the person.

Of course all of us needs a little bit of each to feel loved but there is one that's dominant and that will be the love language. I feel that it is highly important for a couple to know each other's love language because failure to push the correct button can breed discontentment. There will always be this huge expectation from you that your partner can't fulfill.

I have thought about it for a long time, trying to figure out which category I fall into. It didn't need to take long for me to eliminate 3 from the list - Gifts, Time and Acts of Service won't make me swing my vote. The tough choice was trying to decide between Words and Touch. I told Kenneth then that I chose Touch but when I sat down in private and thought about it some more, I decided that it's actually Words. Kenneth had divinely prognosticated that I am a Words person, so I guess he's right afterall.

I think that I am one that needs lots of verbal reassurance. Without it, there will be this colossal void in me - that strange aloof emptiness. You know that something is lacking but yet you can't quite put a finger on it. I mean being loved is one thing but the feeling of being loved and sayang is another.

So have you thought about it? What's your love language then?

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