Another one please ............

"Can I have a baby sister, mummy?"

My eyes opened wide and thinking that I heard wrongly, asked Megan "Sorry darling, what did you say again?" "Can I have a baby sister?" Meg repeated. Can you imagine the incredulous look I have on my face then? I was completely thrown off track and I was dumbfounded. I had not seen this coming. EVER.

This is news. Meg wants a baby sister? She's made it clear right from the moment she's able to make her wishes known, that she is quite happy staying the only child. And she loathes the presence of little Leto because she's vying with her for our attention.

I regained my composure and affectionately reminded her that she doesn't take to Leto too well nowadays. "No, it's because of Leto that I wanted a baby sister. She's just so cute!" Meg reasoned.

Seeing that it's not working, I tried a different tack. Knowing her distaste for boys, I said, "What if it turns out to be a baby brother instead?" She frowned and thought for a while, then with a look of resignation, sighed and replied "also can lah ......"

Haha! If she consented to this, that must means she's getting desperate :p I was very much amused indeed by her sudden preoccupation to acquire a new sibling. Is this a phase all little girls goes through? Is she getting lonely perhaps? But 1 thing for sure, she's all grown up :) She thinks she's capable of taking care of another little person now.

I gave it to her straight and told her no thank you very much because I had waited a long time for her to grow up. And now that finally she's not as dependent on me anymore and I can get some time to myself, I am not going to put myself through another crying fussing baby again. At which she valiantly offered her services but yet at the same time, cleverly not forgetting to offer the maid's services too. She claimed that I can still do as I please because the maid and her will look after the baby. She went on & on about how she'll be a more responsible person so that I won't have to worry about her and how much she'll help me if we had the baby. She's just so adorable, isn't she?

As we were not allowed into the school on the 1st day of school, there was an open house last Friday and parents were invited to see how their children got on in primary 1. It's not the teachers that's giving us a tour of the school but our children. It's really awesome to see the kids proudly showing off their school to their parents and it proves how well they are adapting as well. I learned that Meg is a group leader and is also in charge of the library corner. The teacher informed that Meg got along very well with her classmates and even at times too talkative! In fact I am really glad to see her more vocal because she's just so shy whenever she goes out with us. I was afraid she would turn out to be the super quiet unsociable kid like I was back then. Here's Meg proudly showing off her locker.

Here's the canteen where's she's discovered the value of $ :p

The class performed for the parents but I was late. She's never let me forget about it up till now.

It's happiness all around

January 19' 08 was a day full of cheer and happiness. (Pardon me that I am backdating this almost half a month back.) One of my bestest friend got hitched! She was known as Miss Marilyn Chan but now better known as Mrs Marilyn Peck. Wahahaha!!! .............

Meg was just as excited about Marilyn's ROM as we all are

The solemnization ceremony was held in Tapas Wine Bistro in Holland Village. (Great hang out place - thumbs up!)

Marilyn looks most divine

Exchange of wedding bands and vows

Mar looks absolutely terrified!

Poor Ken had to entertain Meg while we were busy cam whoring :p

Cheers to Marilyn & Edmund's everlasting happiness

1 down, 3 to go. Wahahaha .........

Lovey dovey

We want a share of the beautiful bride too!

We were scrutinizing the wedding ring to see if it's of substantial enough value to do justice to Mar. Cos if not, by the power of the jie mei (sisters), we're going to impose a hefty fine on Edmund on their wedding day. *evil laugh*

Meg thinks that Mar is so pretty

My cousin, Jamie, is Mar's official photographer. Hmmm ...... now looking at the photos, we do look kinda alike. *cringe* (Although I know she would rather kill herself than to ever admit a semblance of likeness between us :p)

Pics courtesy of Jamie

That must have been a very auspicious day cos we attended another wedding dinner at night

Henry & Rachel's wedding in Prima Tower Revolving Restaurant

And to top it all off, we celebrated Ken's dad's birthday the next day. Triple happiness!!!

The loafing oaf

You know what I love doing most? Doing nothing.

You would never in a million years guess that me, Esther Low, is the slackest slob you would ever meet. What wouldn't I give to do nothing but laze around the house. If I can get away with it, I wouldn't even wash up and spend the entire day in my comfy jammies. I would get up really late, lie on the sofa and watch TV; read the papers; read a book; snooze a little (or maybe a lot); dabble with Facebook (Wandal says I'm a FB addict :p); blog perhaps; and dang, I might even throw in a shower if the mood is right :p

I have decided that I am going to start indulging myself. I wouldn't want to get out of the house if I can help it. I am going to do what I love. Damn, I am even seriously contemplating taking leave for the next few days to indulge in doing ................ nothing.

It's so heavy

I remember waking up not too many days ago feeling exactly what I was feeling this morning. I had wanted to blog about it then but let it slide thinking it's something that will pass. So apparently not.

I woke up and it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I couldn't stop the tears washing my cheeks as I was bathing. What a way to start the morning. And does anyone know how hard it is to apply eye make-up when your eyes are all wet? As if I am not late enough, the efforts put into the make-up was all ruined from me crying while driving to work.

Burnt out? Depression? I don't know. There isn't even a trigger but I feel so darn sorry for myself. In fact I think I cry at almost anything now.

It's the beginning of a new year where rightfully hopes were renewed and dreams reignited. Why do I seem to be regressing instead? Each new step seem to take me back to where I had initially started. Trapped in this mammoth maze which threatens to swallow me whole. No matter how, I can never seem to walk out from it. Walking seems like running underwater and everything takes a huge effort out of me. I don't want to go out, I don't want to meet people, I just want to stay at home and do nothing.

Don't worry, I am not about to go out and end my life in the next minute or something like that. Nothing so drastic. I know Megan is my responsibility. And mine alone. For if I am gone, there will be no one to ask her about her day in school, teach her her homework or test her on spelling. I mean that's the really sad part about it. It's that I am not even sure if she'll be truly well cared for if I was not around. And that means I don't even have the most basic option of running away from everything if I had wanted to.

I understand when some of my friends told me they don't see a purpose in life. And if it wasn't for Megan, I would have felt exactly the same way too.

I ask Megan everyday without fail, how was her day in school because I knew how important it was. Then looking at her, I wished that I was in her position. I wish there was someone asking me about my day at work. And now that I have fallen sick again before even recovering from the previous one, I wish that there was someone asking if I am feeling better or if I have taken medication. I wish that there was someone to give me a back rub or pour me a hot drink when I have aches. I wish, I wish, I wish ..........

Suddenly it brought me back to one of my earlier post:

Thursday, August 11, 2005
The innate child in me

Do you think that everyone has an innate child in them? I know I do.

That's cos where it used to lie dormant, the repressed child is screaming & kicking to be let out.

I don't want to be an adult. I don't want to be responsible. I don't want to make decisions. I don't want to have to worry & think about consequences. I don't want to have to please people.

I want to sulk & stamp my feet. I want to cry as & when I want to. I want to be spoiled & demanding. I want instant gratification. I want to be cajoled & coaxed. I want to be pampered. I want to be baby-talked to. I want to know there's someone to shield me from world's harm & shoulder the sky when it falls.

I want.... I want.... I want.....

I'm starting to act like I'm 3 instead of 30.

See what I've told you. That was in 2005. And now in 2008. I am back exactly where I had started.

And so if it is meant to be. I will go on trudging, carrying this heavy weight on my 2 shoulders.

Record breaking

I have pumped a record high of $100 worth of petrol on my 1.4 litres car! *incredulous* What's this world coming to? ..................