Showing posts with label Emo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emo. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Save a dog. Save my sanity.


I miss reading. I miss watching TV programs. I miss Facebooking. I miss photography and editing photos. More than not, I miss blogging. Just take a look at this derelict blog, it is now almost defunct.

Most of the people's response to me when they learnt that I am volunteering is, "You very free ah?" I am most certainly not free! There are so many things that I can occupy my time with but its just that I have chosen to give them up for the dogs.

Looking back, it's been only a mere 4 months since I had started volunteering but it feels like the longest time ever. It is not that I do not like it and time passes slowly. But it's more like there's so much emotionally that I feel I had aged so much.

I am weak perhaps. 

But my dismay with mankind is threatening to swallow me whole. A non-profit rescue group being sued left, right, and centre, does not make sense to me.No power and no money. No matter how one attempts to right the wrongs, one is doomed to fail without those factors. And now, even I am embroiled in a lawsuit. So much time, energy and money wasted. All of which could have benefited the rescue dogs instead. It feels like air being knocked out of me and I am utterly deflated.

People's ignorance with strays and street dogs. It frustrates me no end with their incredulous stupidity. 

Day in, day out; abused dogs, abandoned dogs, injured dogs. I am not sure how much more can my bleeding heart take.

There is only this much I can do; this many dogs I can save. It tears me apart knowing that there is so many more that I can't help. 

Don't get me wrong. Nothing is going to make me stop doing what I do now. I feel knocked down but I am not defeated. My love for dogs will triumph all.

(Note: Content likely to be incoherent but it's 2am, so forgive me.)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Monday, May 21, 2012

Meeting Beano & Prince

Once again a mega big thank you to all that had contributed to Beano's medical bills! 

Meet Beano

Although Beano's head was still wrapped up, I was relieved to know that there was a marked improvement from when he was first brought in.

Sherry with a big big heart

I'm in love with that little pink nose!

I heard that just before I arrived, Beano was really active & naughty! That must means he's so much better :)

Who is the lucky one that will get to keep Beano as their pet? You perhaps? Beano needs a home ...... 

Meet Prince. Prince was rescued from a puppy mill. How can anyone be so cruel? (picture from HOPE Dog Rescue)

This is Prince now & he's the smallest sweetest thing ever ......

While Beano seems to be on the bend, Prince is not so lucky. His blood count does not seem to be going up & the vet thinks it might be the dreaded 'C'. How much more suffering can this miserable small tiny thing take? 

After meeting Prince & Beano, I know they will be close to my heart & I'll have them in all my prayers. I am thankful to HOPE Dog Rescue for reaching out to these stray and abandoned dogs. I am even more thankful for fosters, like Sherry, who opened up their hearts and homes to help rehabilitate these dogs before they are able to find a home. 

I can't do much but I'm going to continue my endeavor of raising funds for these dogs whenever the need arise. I hope you all will continue to lend your support. 

Finally Say No to Puppy Mills! Do not buy your dogs from pet shops. Adopt if you can. 

Peace out ........


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Fund-raising for Beano - mission accomplished!

My goal of raising $1000 for Beano's medical bills had been accomplished in a mere 2 days! Thank you all so much for opening your hearts & wallets to the cause. I'm consoled that there's hope in mankind after all. 

Fund-Raising List 
  1. Esther Low - $100
  2. Megan Yap - $20
  3. Marilyn Chan - $100
  4. Joey Tan - $100
  5. Sherry Heng - $50
  6. Kenneth Lim - $50
  7. Nelly Tan - $20
  8. Geraldine Chen - $100
  9. Serene Koh - $50
  10. Melissa Oh - $50
  11. Pat Seah - $100
  12. Loh Sien Chi - $50
  13. Jerraine Ng -$100
  14. Jesslyn Choo - $50
  15. Jason Khaw - $60
Total to-date (17/5/12): $1000

Other than those awesome people mentioned-above, I must give thanks to the many others  that came forward to offer help and money. Kind folks like Celene, Jeannie, Aurora, Sal, Serina & Annabelle. I had to reject them because I had raised just about enough for Beano's estimated medical bills. 

To many, it's blind faith & 100% trust in me that it's not a scam. Thank you. Don't worry it's not misplaced. I'll be visiting Beano on Saturday & passing on the donations to the hospital. I'll get a receipt from them and then post it here. Hopefully I can get some pics of brave Beano too! Let's keep our fingers crossed and say a prayer that Beano would be so much better by the time I see him on Saturday.

XOXO

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

(Re-blogged) HOPE Dog Rescue: Losing Faith In Humanity

I am starting a fund-raising for Beano's medical bills. My aim is to raise $1000 for him. Please email to me at estherthegorgeous@hotmail.com. I'll update your name and amount donated onto my blog. But of course, please feel free to donate directly to fiona@hopedogrescue.org instead. Any amount helps! 
Fund-Raising List
  1. Esther Low - $100
  2. Megan Yap - $20
  3. Marilyn Chan - $100
  4. Joey Tan - $100
  5. Sherry Heng - $50
  6. Kenneth Lim - $50
  7. Nelly Tan - $20
  8. Geraldine Chen - $100
  9. Serene Koh - $50
  10. Melissa Oh - $50
  11. Pat Seah - $100
  12. Lo Sien Chi - $50
  13. Jerraine -$100
Total to-date (17/5/12): $890

For the original post, please go to: http://hopedogrescue.blogspot.com/


Meet sweet little Beano.
Who would ever think of hurting a dog with an adorable face like this?
________________________________________________________________________________
Beano had chemical burns on half of his head. Some cruel person had poured acid on him and the
liquid had burnt his head, his left ear and parts of his neck, as it flowed down. Imagine the 
excruciating pain he had been living with for almost three weeks before we saved him.

It was 8.30pm when I arrived at the construction site. When I saw him, there were still stains of this
dark coloured liquid on his fur, covering his neck and head. It was pitch dark but I could smell the 
maggots from a few feet away as I approached him. Having worked with strays, this was unfortunately,
a smell I was very familiar with, and obviously not something I liked. The dog was emaciated, bones 
protruding from his skeletal frame. Being small and weak, he was not part of the pack of stray dogs 
that hung around that area. And as such, he did not get to share their food and was constantly attacked
and bullied by them.
 
Just arrived at the hospital
Despite the fact that his pain was unbearable and that it was obviously inflicted by humans, he wagged
his tail as this human got closer to him. He still trusted this inhumane breed.

His first human touch - by the vet tech who felt sorry for him
It was easy to catch him because he was starved and all I needed to do was put some canned food 
into my carrier and he went right for it. I loaded him into my van and rushed to the Mt Pleasant 
Hospital. It was emergency hours and would have cost more to take the dog in but I felt he had 
suffered long enough and it couldn’t wait till morning.
 
Beano, feeling sorry for himself
At the hospital, with proper lighting, I finally had a proper look at him. He must have lived one of the 
saddest existence. Suddenly I didn’t feel so strong . . . . .his eyes were trusting but it showed the hard 
and sad life he lived. He was a mere puppy, he couldn’t have been more than a year old! 

The chemical had burnt part of his head, ear and neck. Imagine living with this pain for weeks.
Maggots had eaten through parts of his flesh
All he wanted was someone to hold him and tell him that he would be alright as the lady held his head and her tears rolled down her cheek.
As he stepped out of the carrier on his own, his pain and suffering hit me hard. Pus was oozing out
of his wound, maggots were crawling all over his wound and his tiny face. There were holes when 
there should have been flesh. I saw bubbles on his head and I knew maggots had burrowed through 
and eaten away his flesh. His left ear was distorted with parts of it missing, either from the chemical 
burn or from the flesh eating maggots. A lady who had walked past us on the way out after visiting her 
dog, stopped to stare at him. Immediately her tears flowed as she knelt down to ask me what 
happened. I explained and she asked why? Why are people so cruel? Despite the smell of rotting
flesh and the maggots on his head, she hugged him. He lay his head on her knee. All he wanted was 
love; someone to understand what he had gone through in his short life. 
The vet on night shift came and looked at him and commented he was terribly thin. She looked at his 
huge wound and said she needed to sedate him to flush out the maggots and the chemical. It would 
have been too painful to clean without sedation. I requested that she flush his eyes too, in case the 
chemicals had also splashed on his eyes. Fellow volunteer, Lisa, rushed down to visit little Beano 
before he was sedated to have his wound cleaned. She cried when she set eyes on him. She too, 
knelt beside him, and kissed his little nose. Barely a year old, and life had not been kind to him. 
Watch Beano here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPilXCEqJdI&feature=youtu.be
Beano is expected to be at the vet for at least a week to ten days, where his wound would be 
cleaned daily and maggots flushed out. We won’t be returning him to the streets as obviously, he 
would not survive. He is small in built, not like a typical local breed. He could easily live in a HDB 
apartment and be approved.


In the next day or so, we would need to decide if we want to leave his wound to slowly heal on its 
own, which may take up to two or three weeks, or to have him undergo a surgery to stitch up the 
wound. Either way, he would be left with physical scars of human abuse, but we hope, with our love
and care, he won’t have scars of his emotional abuse.


I sense that he might have been kept as a pet and then abandoned as he walks very well on harness, 
from the night we rescued him, he knows “sit” and he loves treats.
Why do I open my heart to dogs in need? Especially when sometimes there is no more money, no 
more fosters and no more space to help. Every dog that crosses my path, I think of them as “my dogs” 
and I open my heart a little bigger, I stretch the money a little tighter, and I plead for just a little more 
room, a little more hope, to save one more dog. The gratitude and love that reflects in their 
eyes, is the best assurance that I did right, in the best way I know how and it reminds me to go on 
trying, to go on saving.
I feel good saving lives but I would feel even gooder if you would give sweet Beano a real life. He 
deserves to know love.
Beano is warded at Mt Pleasant Veterinary Centre (232 Whitley Road).  To foster, adopt or help 
with his vet bills, please email fiona@hopedogrescue.org

Friday, May 11, 2012

The Hanging Tree (The Hunger Games Trilogy)

Macabre but so haunting
"Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me."


Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where they strung up a man they say murdered three.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where the dead man called out for his love to flee.
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

- Suzanne Collins, Mocking Jay - The Hunger Games


Picture credits: BeckisaurusRexx


Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Sandwiched again!

I think I need a new car .......

Monday, April 30, 2012

Sing me to sleep


Tossing & turning. Tossing & turning. 

In spite of being tired beyond words, sleep seems to have totally eluded me. My eyelids are heavy but my mind can't seem to stop whirling.

I am not happy. I am weary. I can't sleep.



Photo credits: Bulash


Sunday, April 01, 2012

步步惊心 (Bu Bu Jing Xin aka Scarlet Heart)

This is a deviation from my usual posts. A tad bit shallower than my usual shallow ones :p 

I had just finished a marathon of watching 步步惊心 (note: this post had been backlogged for a month) and I looked a complete wreck after that. Not only from the extremely late nights but from me crying a river over the last few episodes. People who had seen me, might just have thought that I had been heartbroken for real!

SYNOPSIS
A 25 year-old modern day woman woke up from a car accident to find herself in the body of a 16 year-old Manchu girl living in the 18th century Qing Dynasty. In her new life, she became deeply entangled in Aisin Gioro princes' battle for the throne.

I had never been a fan of Nicky Wu and so Erykca had the shock of her life, when I professed undying love for him, over instant messaging. I can just see this conversation bubble looming over her: " OMG! What's wrong with you??!" Okay, I admit. I'm highly embarrassed by my teenage-like crush on him.

Nicky Wu aside, the rest of the princes looked absolutely delectable too! (Now I risk sounding like some horny teenager :p) I'm not proud to admit but I've always been bias about China actors. There's no way that you can catch me watching a China production. But now I humbly take back my words. (*slurps* over 13th & 14th prince)

Of course there's so much more to the show that captivated me than just the actors. I was so into the show that I even went to read up on Qing Dynasty history. (Whoever says TV is bad?) But hey, I'm now only in the mood to do a r.e.a.l.l.y. shallow review. 

Everyone so far, who had watched this show loved it. So if you're a sucker for tear-jerkers like me, you can't miss this! 

Sounded silly but the show really affected me and I got really depressed for the next few days after that. But I guess it gives me a good reason to sob unabashingly. Everyone could use a good cry once in a while.



Monday, March 26, 2012

The rude awakening

Insomnia again! I wonder if it's any coincidence that my insomnia started around the same time I read that COE prices had exceeded the $80k mark. [Link] 

Pre-midlife crisis? Or rude awakening? 

I had never been one to worry incessantly, preferring to live my life in ignorant bliss. But for the past week, I'd been lying awake every night, gripped by cold terror that my style of living is soon spiraling out of reach. Rightfully, I should have nothing to complain about since I am earning slightly more than the average Singaporean. But that was the situation many years ago. Although my earning capacity hasn't changed but my pay is pretty much stagnant while I see prices of everything sky-rocketing. Extrapolating, even a maths idiot like me knows that very soon I am going run into negatives.

And I have not yet even factored in the fact that Megan might need to further her education overseas. I don't wear rose-tinted glasses and harbour hopes that the universities in Singapore will open up enough slots for local students. I haven't factored in the fact that I'm nearing 40 & the likelihood of me being made redundant in a job is very real. I also haven't factor in that my parents are getting old. They don't have the minimum sum required to withdraw their CPF as all of it was used to pay for the flat. I would have to support them when they retire. I don't even dare to think what if they should fall sick (touch wood) and require long term care. 

*Shudders*

I wonder if I'll ever have a good night sleep from now on ............ 

Saturday, December 03, 2011

The boat with no oars - part II

The previous post must have seemed inexplicably bizarre to most. Erykca asked me where I plagiarized the passage from. *rolls eyes* It's all me by the way :p. 

The past few days had been one hell of an emotional roller-coaster ride - feeling high & low all at the same time. This mixture of emotions was a weird sensation. Really exhilarated but yet can't help feeling that lingering sourish sensation at the pit of my stomach (which I'm pretty sure it's not gastric reflux). 

Be it those directly affected or those indirectly affected, I believe everyone grew up (or is 'sober up', more apt?) a little from the experience. 

I'm feeling calmer now as the dust settles. I hope this is so for the rest too. You know when they say 'when one door closes, the other opens' & that 'everything happens for a reason'? As cliché as it sounds, I'm a 100% believer. 船到桥头自然直. Life works in mysterious ways, have faith & everything will fall into the right place. 

The world in front of us is full of endless possibilities. Watch me shine.





Friday, December 02, 2011

The boat with no oars

I was floating on a boat with no oars, allowing the current to carry me wherever it wants. I was initially contented cos I had food to fill my stomach & blanket to keep me warm. But I started to yearn for dry land. And the day came when I finally spotted an island. I happily jumped off the boat but was soon filled with trepidation. I had no inkling what lies beyond. Is it full of wild animals waiting to devour me or is it a whole new wonderful world? I looked back & saw my boat drifting away - the boat carrying food & my security blanket. My first impulse was to run back to it but I forced myself to walk on cos I'd no desire to be adrift anymore.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Payback can be such a bitch


Do you guys remember this book? True Singapore Ghost Stories by Russell Lee. Courtesy of Meg, I'm hooked on it again. Apparently it's popularity hasn't waned after all these years. Ahhh ...... Memories .....

I was reading Book 18 last night & there was this paragraph that jumped up at me from this story entitled 'Glimpse of Hell':

"If you lie and abuse your authority to harm someone, your stomach will be cut open and all the intestines will be pulled out for dogs to eat."

I believe in heaven & hell. I believe in Karma. So all I need to do is to patiently sit, wait & watch. *grins*




Blogged via iPhone

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Missing You


The 1st line out of a new book I'm about to read:

"The truth about getting a new dog is that it makes you miss the old one."

- The Puppy Diaries: raising a dog named Scout, Jill Abramson

True.

The more I'm loving Pillow, the more I'm missing Woofie.


Thursday, September 01, 2011

Just an excerpt



He awoke each morning with the desire to do something right- to be a good and meaningful person. To be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he would be overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. " I am not sad, " he would repeat to himself over and over, " I am not sad, ". As if that one day he might convince himself. Or fool himself or convince others - that the only thing worse than being sad for others is to know that you are sad. " I am not sad, I am not sad, ". Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, in it so far was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with the heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was not a part of him at all. And each morning he would wake up with it again in the cupboard of his ribcage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the mid afternoon was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else somewhere else. " I am not sad. "

Jonathan Safran Foer
(Everything Is Illuminated)

Monday, April 25, 2011

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I'm a selfish bitch

I can't believe that there are actually some near-strangers asking me to buy stuffs back for them during my upcoming trip to US. What nerve! I'm flabbergasted by how they have no qualms whatsoever about inconveniencing me.

Hell. Do I look like Singpost to you? It's my 1st holiday to USA for Pete's sake! Or even if it's to Malaysia, I shouldn't have to share my luggage space nor be burdened by someone else's shopping list.

But if you really must ask me to get it, then it will come at a price. Want the iPad2? Sure. That's another S$200 for courier & baggage space. Okay, I can hear you screaming: "You selfish, $$$-grabbing bitch!"

So? Bite me.

At this point which you must be thinking: "US only mah. Big deal. Don't buy don't buy lor, must write so much meh?"

Sure I do. This topic gripes at me as much as queue-cutting (but that's a story for another day). I'm the sort who'd rather pay for a cab than hitch a ride (unless offered). That's cos I don't want to feel indebted to the person. It's not easy to pay off 人情债. It might seem little initially but add it all up & it's a helluva payback. Likewise, I don't want anyone indebted to me either.

So unless you're family, my BFFs (whom I can count with my 5 fingers), or someone I'm indebted to, don't say I never did warn you. By writing this, I'm saving you the embarrassment of talking to my hand.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Where's the key?

Just when I thought everything is starting to settle, it resurfaces once more. I don't know what to think. I probably shouldn't even be thinking this. The head & the heart is such a mess. Is it even remotely possible for a heart that's closed & locked for good, to be open once more?

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Playing dress-ups

masquerade•guise•front•facade•deception•cover-up•pretense•charade•phony•sham•fraud



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